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The current year signifies a ten-year milestone since the phrase “vanishing” entered the mainstream. Back then, the idea that someone could instantly end all contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the height of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a mate has only become more confounding – an oftentimes fruitless endeavor in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by online lingo.

Generation Z, a demographic who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their millennial predecessors could ever fathom. And so their dating vocabulary has grown longer and more bizarre, with terms like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” straining the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a detailed breakdown to the terms this generation is using to discuss love, sex and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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A

Genuineness – For gen Z, romance's ultimate goal is presenting as your true, raw self. Good luck with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A social media test inspired by a test developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your date's reply is inquisitive or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' response to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while oozing enigma and independence. (She might still have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This refers to going for someone who supports you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people bond while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do budget-friendly dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or breakup, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 80s young urban professional excess, it refers to pairs who forgo having children to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of playing it cool: utilizing communication, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Warning signs – Behavioral quirks indicating a potential partner is trouble. Such as calling their former partners crazy, subpar gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks validate your decision to pursue a mate. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, having a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These typically describe niche, mostly benign idiosyncrasies. For instance being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their bag, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who loathes the same stuff or people that you do (few things builds intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The rare boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An archetype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Random and often mundane repulsions that immediately extinguish any feelings of attraction.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic display.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in professions they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some gen Z want fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance authentic.

Kittenfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {